that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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