My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
