the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
