I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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