I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
