after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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