is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i believe in u and ur pee
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
