I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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