I just cut my nipple shaving
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
cat food counts as protein by the way
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize