College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
