Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
