Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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