I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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