This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
