My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize