so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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