Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
