And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
