i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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