How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
