I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
