He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
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