it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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