Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
