I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
