please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Naked. naked and bneed help.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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