I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
