The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
