Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
