I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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