After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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