I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
