Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
