I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
