how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize