farters have to be the big spoon...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
