FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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