mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
