You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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