No, you can still breathe under the balls.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
