Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
