i don't like sucking hair
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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