How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
