Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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