I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
