Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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