there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
