I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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