This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I would ride that face into the sunset
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
