I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
