the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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