Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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