I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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