i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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