I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
