they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
