giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
