you would pick up someone in the library
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize