My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
