he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
