theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize